I have big news. Are you ready for it? Here it is.... I FINALLY graduated! It was genuinely starting to look like I might be walking across the stage with the aid of a walker while wearing my cap, gown and dentures. I thought for sure that I'd be part of the graduating class of 2059, but here I am, way ahead of schedule in the class of 2013. The question everyone wants to know now is what I plan to do with my degree. And the answer is: absolutely nothing. I've graduated from I school I don't particularly like (which will remain nameless) with a degree I don't want. (The specifics of how I ended up with a degree I don't want instead of the one I originally planned to get are too tedious to get into at this time.) What an accomplishment! But at least I'm done and it wasn't a total loss - it would have bugged me to be a college dropout for the rest of my life, and the only member of my family who didn't have a degree.
The other upside to finally having my diploma in hand was that I got to go through all the papers, notes and textbooks that I had accumulated in 14 years (yes, 14 - it's not a typo) and get rid of everything I wouldn't need in the future - a full file box of notes plus a stack of textbooks that was approximately three feet high. (I should mention that two of my favorite recreational activities are decluttering and organizing, a fact that drives the rest of the family crazy when I run out of things to get rid of and badger them to declutter their stuff.) The books were donated to charity; the notes were finally put to good use: I rolled them into logs and roasted vegan marshmallows over them. They were, perhaps, the best s'mores I've ever had.
PS. I would also like to mention that I managed to pull of a 3.87 GPA. Not bad for a degree I don't want from a school I don't like.